Recovering from child sexual abuse

Recovering from child sexual abuse

In this blog, I will often address my ongoing recovery process from childhood sexual abuse and trauma.  I hope to add my voice to all of the survivors out there whose voices have helped me to know that I am not alone.  I am not a researcher, so my views are based on my own experiences as well as on some experiences of those that I have encountered throughout my life.

Although sexual abuse occurs in isolation and leaves victims feeling shameful and utterly, desperately alone, the truth is that we are not alone.  There is world full of survivors out there because the sexual abuse and rape of children is a disgustingly common occurrence.

So to you survivors out there, I stand with you.  I witness that the devastating effects of abuse can be overcome with painful hard work, patience, and love.  

I will talk about my experiences with PTSD, repressed-recovered memories, therapy, the effects when religion is part of the abuse (pedophile priests and the Catholic church), and anything related to my abuse and recovery process.  I will also comment on current events that relate to the liberation of victims from their perpetrators’ strangling silence. 

The more survivors voices that there are, the less these perpetrators will be able to commit these heinous crimes.  Our voices will add what we know to the collective conscience: these crimes happen often; the effects are more devastating than can be imagined (especially because society as a whole has pretended like it does not happen. For who wants to talk about such horrible things?) and most importantly, recovery is possible because we are not alone.  

We as humans need to educate ourselves and educate our children in order to stop this from happening.

I deeply respect every victim and his/her right to heal in a manner that they find best.  Just because writing and talking about it is best for one person does not mean that it is best for all people.  I only implore you survivors to take the difficult and painful steps toward healing.  You will not regret staring down your greatest fear until it loses its power.  You, like me, have already lived through the worst.  You are in control now.

I have talked and written about my experiences of abuse and rape with a good number of people, and now I will share it, hopefully, with more people through this blog.  I hope these words are helpful to at least one person.

To help protect children, I contacted local police, the FBI, and Child Protective Services, regarding my perpetrators.  In all instances, I was told that there is little that law enforcement can do about it today.  Still, thankfully, because of another offense, one of the abusers a registered sex offender.

Finally, I would like to thank my wife, Deborah; my family, the McGarrys, the Parkers, the Napolis, and all of each family’s supportive offshoots;  and my many friends for the unending support during the good times and the bad times of my healing process.  I know you have suffered along with me and for that I owe you a world of debt.